


Trust the Wolf to Bring You Home

by pancake_surprise



Series: Raised by Wolves [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dumbledore isn't an asshole, Families of Choice, Harry Potter was Raised by Remus Lupin, Harry Potter was Raised by Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, M/M, POV Remus Lupin, Protective Remus Lupin, Raising Harry Potter, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Returning Home, Sirius Black Free from Azkaban
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-12 23:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17477249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pancake_surprise/pseuds/pancake_surprise
Summary: Remus Lupin saves 18-month-old Harry from the Dursleys.And comes to the realization that perhaps Sirius Black isn't as guilty as everyone thinks.





	1. We Carry On

**Author's Note:**

> An alternate scenario for how Remus Lupin and Sirius Black come to raise Harry Potter in my Raised by Wolves AU series.
> 
> I based Harry's interaction with Remus off of how the littlest girl I nanny reacts when I see her for the first time after a few weeks apart.

He never planned on coming here. He never planned on coming to Privet Drive, to the home of Petunia and Vernon Dursley and now Harry Potter. Remus meant to live in shameful ignorance until the universe finally broke him. 

But the universe clearly has other plans for him. Or, at the least, Lily Potter has other plans for him. 

Remus isn't one to put much stock into dreams and the tales they tell despite the claims all his divination textbooks make. But then the ghost of Lily Potter herself waltzed into his regular 2am nightmare and yelled until her voice went hoarse. Now, he isn't so sure. He woke from his nightmare with Lily's voice still ringing in his ear, painfully aware of just how far he was from Surrey. 

Lily was a vision, just the same as she had been in life, fiery red hair whipping around as she berated Remus for his “frankly appalling inaction”, arms waving and stamping her feet. He hadn’t received a scolding from Lily since their days at Hogwarts when she would have yelled after all the Marauders after pranking underclassmen or the Slytherins. Lily was angrier than he ever saw her in life. Her lecture ended with a final stamp of the foot and a warning to fix it immediately or else she wouldn’t be so nice next time. He woke the moment her image faded away, cold sweat soaked his pajamas, and though Lily never once uttered what he so spectacularly mucked up, Remus knew exactly how he failed Lily Potter.

Remus haphazardly lunged from his bed, threw on some clothes and apparated to Little Whinging without a second thought.

But now that he's arrived on Privet Drive, he's more than a little lost on what to do. He can’t charge into Number 4 Privet Drive and demand to see Harry. And if what he remembers of Lily’s sister Petunia and her husband Vernon Dursley is correct, then knocking on the door and politely asking for a visit with Harry certainly won’t work either.

Remus’ gut floods with shame thinking of Harry stuck with Vernon and Petunia Dursley as the replacement for James and Lily though he knows there was little he could do in the immediate aftermath of their deaths. It is nearly five months since James and Lily died and Remus hardly allowed himself a moment to consider how Harry was fairing since his parents’ deaths. He’d practically forgotten Harry, too wrapped up in his guilt and pain over the deaths of three of his greatest friends and the betrayal of the fourth. It’s a miracle Dream-Lily wasn’t screaming at him months ago. He really should have made a point to at least ensure Harry was doing okay. One of Dream-Lily's grievances rings throughout his head on repeat as he paces down the street and back up again-- "you're all he's got left! you're all he's got left! all he's got left!" His mind can't fully grasp the idea that he, Remus Lupin, is all Harry James Potter has left in this world but when he breaks it down, there's no way around it. Harry's parents are dead. Both sets of his grandparents perished before he was even born. His godfather is gone. Uncle Peter- dead. And Remus doesn't have to have met Petunia and Vernon Dursley to know they aren't likely to be the right people to be tasked with raising Harry, the most famous wizarding boy in the world. 

It’s nearly half-past nine and Remus has been loitering on Privet Drive for almost an hour when the door to Number 4 opens and a woman he can only assume is Petunia Dursley carries out a pudgy boy in one arm and rudely ushers a second boy onto the porch with the other. Remus is standing a few doors down but there is no doubt in his mind that the second boy is Harry and immediately he is overwhelmed with feelings of joy and guilt all tangled together in his chest. While Petunia locks the door behind her, Harry, now only a few months shy of two years old, toddles down the porch step and onto the pathway leading up to 4 Privet Drive when he stops at the end of the way and looks toward Remus.

It’s then that Remus thinks his heart nearly stops because Harry isn’t just looking at him, he’s staring him down. And then Harry’s whole face lights up and he’s running, running right for Remus. And he is viscerally reminded of how much he loved-loves this boy. 

“MOONY!” Harry shrieks. The boy’s glasses are askew and his hair is possibly far wilder than James’ ever was as he races undeterred down the sidewalk. "MOONY!" 

Remus is too stunned to do anything other than stand dumbstruck but that’s okay because the rest of his body seems to remember what to do when a toddler is running at full speed toward him. Just before Harry’s tiny legs reach him, Remus crouches down and throws his arms open, catching Harry and holding him tightly to his chest the moment the boy reaches him.

Remus undoubtedly has known love before. He loved his parents who would have done anything for him; he loved his friends who never once were afraid of him and who became animagi just for him; he loved Sirius Black with what he thought was his whole heart; and, of course, he loved Harry from the moment he was born. But the love he feels as Harry’s arms cling tightly around his neck is unlike any other. It fills his chest so tightly it nearly hurts, reminding him of the responsibility he so staunchly avoided the last five months weighing heavily in his gut.

“Moony! Moony! It’s Moony!” Harry says on repeat as Remus finally finds the strength to stand.

Distantly, Remus is aware of Petunia Dursley yelling from the porch, demanding Harry come back at once, but he could not care any less what she’s going on about, all of his attention focused only on the toddler safely nestled in his arms.

“Harry,” Remus croaks upon realizing that he still hasn’t said a word. Harry leans back in Remus’ arms to look up at him with a massive smile upon hearing his name. Remus doesn’t know what he’s done in his life to deserve Harry’s reaction to his arrival on Privet Drive but he resolves right then to spend the rest of his time on earth ensuring he does.

"Moony," says Harry once more as he throws his little arms around Remus' neck.

Remus straightens up and begins walking to where Petunia is still squawking.

“Harry! What will the neighbors think! Harry, you can’t be seen with a man so clearly homeless! This is a good neighborhood, we do not associate with people like that! Harry!”

He frowns upon realizing it isn't Harry running off to a strange man that has her worked up. As Remus gets closer to where Petunia stands on the porch, her shrieks only grow louder.

“Get away from me and my son!” she yells shielding the other boy with her body. “Take that boy if you must! But leave us!”

Remus holds out an arm in what is meant to be a placating gesture but all it accomplishes is louder shrieks from Petunia.

“Don't get closer! I’ll call the police!” she says.

“Mrs. Dursley please calm down,” he says. “I’m only a friend of Lily’s.”

Petunia promptly stops the squawking, drawing her lips into one thin line. She hikes the boy on her hip up closer to her and clutches him tighter still.

“Your kind aren’t welcome here. Give me Harry and leave here immediately before my husband returns home. He won't be as polite as I am.” Remus is momentarily stunned, wondering how on earth Petunia Dursley came to know about his condition before realizing it is wizarding kind she is referring to.

When Remus makes no move to hand Harry over or set him back down on the ground, Petunia reaches for him with the hand not holding onto the other boy. Remus spent almost all of his formative years learning to expertly avoid whatever prank James, Sirius, or Peter cooked up and dodging Petunia’s weak attempt at grabbing Harry is done practically on autopilot.

Harry whimpers even as Remus dances out of Petunia’s reach and tucks his face further into Remus’ shoulder. If Petunia’s reaction to Remus’ arrival when she’d still thought he was a vagrant passing through wasn’t enough to unsettle him, the fear emanating from Harry certainly is.

“If you don’t mind, I think I’d like a look around where Harry is living now,” he says calmly.

Petunia’s face contorts into something akin to rage as she snarls, “absolutely not!”

Gently, he shifts Harry in his arms, resting one hand under his legs and the other across his back before drawing himself up to his full height and giving Petunia the most unnerving smile he can muster. He doesn't make a habit of trying to intimidate little suburban women but desperate times call for desperate measures. 

“Petunia,” he begins as he takes a step closer to her. “Lily was a great witch, I’m certain you knew that,” Remus says coldly.

Petunia swallows before nodding once.

“You’re right. She was,” he says.

Remus takes another step.

“Lily and I were neck and neck with each other for top marks at school. I suppose you could say we were at the top of, as you so eloquently put, _our kind_ , so certainly you understand the  _magic_ I am capable of. The things I can do.”  

Remus shoots her a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and pats Harry soothingly on the back before continuing.

“If I were you, I would invite me in so I could see with my own two eyes what a fantastic life you are providing for my best friends’ son in the wake of their untimely deaths.”

In another life, Remus would feel horribly guilty for so unfairly intimidating a young muggle outside her own home. Sirius, James, and Peter probably would have laughed until they cried watching his performance while Lily would have told him off for his cruelty. Somehow he doesn’t think Lily would blame him now.

Petunia fixes him a dirty look before hiking the other boy up in her arms again and begrudgingly unlocking the door.

“Hurry up then,” she says. “His door is the first on the right.”

Remus shuffles inside and frowns when the first door on the right turns out to be underneath the stairs of all places.

“This one here?” he asks.

She nods.

He pulls open the door with one hand and is utterly appalled by what he sees. A crib is shoved unceremoniously into the tiny alcove closet with a single light bulb hanging from above to illuminate the room. There is not a single stuffed animal or toy; no family photos of Lily or James, nothing other than a faded baby blanket and a ratty pillow. Remus throws the door shut and his stomach sinks when he catches sight of a lock on the outside of the door.

The absolute joy of seeing his best friends’ son for the first time in nearly half a year is swiftly replaced by cold fury.

“Do you- _lock_ -him in here?” he says.

Petunia rolls her eyes. “What else are we supposed to do? The idiot boy figured out how to get out of the crib months ago and crawled to our room wailing. How were we supposed to get any sleep?” she says. When Remus continues to scowl uncomprehendingly she continues, “How was our precious Dudley supposed to get any sleep!”

"You locked up Harry-" 

Petunia nods. 

" _In. A. Closet._ " It's not a question. 

Petunia nods a second time. They could have this conversation all day long and Petunia would never come to see the frank cruelty of her actions. He could threaten her- with magic, without- and she would still find some way to justify the barbarity of locking an orphan in a cupboard. Remus doesn’t need to hear any more. In one swift step, he is back at the front door and yanking it open.

“Goodbye then. I’d say it was nice meeting you, but then I’d be lying.” He pulls the door shut behind him and stalks down the front porch, stomping right through Petunia's perfectly prim garden. He can scarcely remember being so angry in his entire 21 years of existence. Locking a child- a baby- in a broom closet, who even so much as thinks to do that? 

Harry is clutching tightly to his sweater with one hand and sucking on the fingers of the other, apparently unperturbed by the entire situation folding out in from of him and Remus is so desperately grateful for his childhood ignorance to the greater world.  

He hears the door to 4 Privet Drive open and grimaces. 

From behind him, Petunia yells, “if you take him, you better not bring him back! We’ll send him straight to child services next time!”

Without turning around Remus throws one hand in the air, making a rude gesture he's sure would have James and Sirius howling with laughter and Petunia appalled.

“Don’t worry. You’ll never be seeing him again.” And Remus means it. He'll move heaven and earth if it that's what it takes to ensure Vernon and Petunia Dursley will never so much as see Harry James Potter again, let alone be his sole care providers. 

There's another loud pop, then Remus and Harry leave Little Whinging for good.

* * *

 

Remus’ little cottage isn't prepared for the addition of a toddler in the least. Before Harry was born, Lily's relatives threw her a muggle baby shower which Remus, Sirius, Peter, and James were all required to attend. Sirius and Peter put up a big fit about it but Remus hadn't minded in the slightest. They played games Remus had never heard of and ate at least seven different kinds of baby-themed food. The partygoers brought gift after gift of all the various bits and bobs they assured James and Lily that they would need to properly raise a child: baby bottles, bibs, clothes so tiny that it made Remus dizzy to think anyone alive could be so small, toys upon toys, and so much more. Remus doesn't have any of that. He doesn't even have a place for Harry to sleep when night falls. Remus briefly considers transfiguring one of his two kitchen chairs into a crib but thinks better of it. After what he saw at the Dursley's, putting Harry into a crib for the night feels far too much like putting him into a baby-sized prison for his liking.

In the month before Harry was born, Sirius bought a myriad of baby books- muggle and wizard published- more than one of which he forced into Remus or Peter's hands and insisted they read. After the second book came home, Remus asked why they were the ones needing to read the baby books when neither himself, Sirius, or Peter was pregnant Sirius said, _"We're about to be uncles! Uncles! We can't take this lightly. We've got to know what to do if James and Lily aren't about."_ And that was it. Sirius was right and Remus dutifully read every single book Sirius brought back to their apartment. He knows more than one of those books went over whether or not a grown-up could safely sleep in the same bed as a baby but for the life of him he can't remember what they said. He left those books behind, just the same as he left everything else that was Sirius' or given to him by Sirius or even jointly owned between him and Sirius, when he moved from their shared apartment and into his family house in Wales after the war ended. 

At eighteen months, Harry is far from as helpless as a baby; he can move, hit, and yell and Remus hopes that will be enough to keep him from suffocating at night sleeping with him in his own bed. Harry is more than content to sleep beside Moony and he gleefully tells Remus no less than five times before he finally succumbs to sleep. Remus lies awake far after Harry, splitting his time between watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest in his sleep and considering how very different the life woke up to in the morning is from the one he's living come evening. 

Eventually, Remus too goes to bed; he dreams of not of an angry, yelling Lily Potter but of standing on a foggy street eerily reminiscent of Godric's Hollow and holding Harry at his hip. Across the white fog blurring the world around them stands James and Lily. James smiles and waves at the two of them while Lily blows a kiss and laughs.

In the dream, Harry points to Remus and yells “Moony!” just as he had upon spotting him earlier that day. His heart swells and he can't keep the smile off of his face. 

“Moony will take good care of you, Harry,” James says. “He practically raised me and Padfoot.”

Remus wakes with a start to find Harry kicked off the covers and curled up beside him at some point in the night. Gingerly, he pulls the blanket up under Harry’s chin and gives him a pat on the back.

He’s barely 22 and nearly alone in the world, but Remus Lupin will be damned before he lets down Lily Potter again.

 


	2. An Unexpected Guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dumbledore makes an unannounced visit to Remus and Harry's little cottage in Wales.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is turning into a far larger story than I ever intended ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> All interactions with Harry are based on children of his age whom I have nannied in the past.
> 
> Dumbledore is a little out of character because I frankly was tired of Dumbledore being a little bitch all the time and didn't feel like writing him like that. So please forgive me, friends.

Remus Lupin is fully confident that his actions in Little Whinging were not only justified but also the will of James and Lily Potter. What he isn’t so confident about is what the rest of the wizarding world is going to think upon the news breaking that Harry Potter was abducted from his Uncle and Aunt’s home in broad daylight. He’s more than surprised when a day passes and then a week without a peep in the Daily Prophet on Harry’s whereabouts. By the end of the second week, he begins to wonder if anyone will ever notice at all and it just further proves his point that Harry was far from safe with the Dursleys. Any old ex-Death Eater could have waltzed right in there and made off with Harry themselves and the rest of the Wizarding World would have been none the wiser.

So when he heads into the kitchen to cook breakfast on the first morning of Harry’s third week with him and finds none other than Albus Dumbledore seated at his kitchen table, he’s more than a little surprised- perhaps even a bit angry- that it took him so long to come looking for Harry.

“Mr. Lupin,” Dumbledore says with a little nod in his direction. “I trust you are well.”

“I, er, yes. Quite well. And you sir?” Perhaps he should be reacting with a little more shock to upon finding a man in his kitchen uninvited at half past seven, but in his short lifetime, much of it spent in the company James, Peter, and Sirius, he's learned that at some point all you can do is roll with the punches and hope it all turns out alright in the end. 

“Oh, I’m fine my boy, just fine,” Dumbledore says. "Thank you for asking." 

It's a far cry fro how Remus imagined this conversation would go. His version always included more of _‘Mr. Lupin how could you be so reckless? I’ll be taking Harry back at once!’_ and a lot less civil small talk.

“Right, okay, I’m just gonna,” Remus says pointing in the general direction of the refrigerator and stove. This will be far easier to comprehend with a full stomach and a cup of tea. 

“Oh please, continue. We can talk once breakfast is served. I trust you’ll need your energy for this conversation.”

Okay, _that,_ certainly left him feeling a little nervous but he pushes through the nerves and throws a pot of oats and water on the stove and gets a kettle going for tea.

“Can I get you anything, professor?” Remus asks once the oats have begun bubbling.

“Just tea for me, thank you,” he says smiling.

With Harry still sleeping soundly back in his bedroom, Remus sets the table for himself and Dumbledore. He dumps a glop of the oatmeal unceremoniously into a bowl and tries not to acknowledge just how unappetizing it looks. Any other time he would have fixed it up with some sugared raisins but they’ve only a handful left and he’s saving those for Harry’s oatmeal once he wakes. 

Remus takes a bite of his too hot oatmeal while Dumbledore sips his tea thoughtfully.

“Well Remus I suppose I ought to cut right to the chase as they say,” he says as he sets his tea down carefully onto the table.

Remus swallows nervously and the oatmeal suddenly seems to turn to concrete in his stomach. He steels himself for the inevitable and begins running through the counters to every argument Dumbledore could present on why Remus was unfit to raise Harry. He tortured himself nearly every night as he tried to sleep, going through every scenario they could throw at him in an effort to take Harry away. He wishes he took a camera with him to the Dursley's so that he might have a bit of tangible evidence to prove just how poorly he was being treated by his aunt and uncle. Surely Dumbledore couldn't deny that Harry was far better off anywhere other than Privet Drive if the evidence was put right under his nose.

“I’m here to ask you about Sirius Black.”

Remus sputters and nearly chokes on his tea.

“I’m sorry, what?”

He knows very well whose name Dumbledore just uttered but he really does need to hear him say it once more because this is so very far from where he thought their conversation was going. Sirius Black is in Azkaban. Sirius Black is the reason Harry Potter was sent to those awful people. Sirius Black is the reason Remus Lupin and Harry Potter have no one left in the world but each other. 

"Pardon me, my boy, pardon me. It was not my intention to give you a fright."

Remus sputters a second time and Dumbledore waits patiently for him to recover. His stomach is churning painfully. 

From the bedroom, Remus catches the sound of the first few sniffles that signal Harry is waking up at last and Remus is viscerally grateful for the distraction. Sirius Black is the furthest thing from his mind as he stands hastily. He nearly makes it out of the kitchen before Dumbledore coughs, reminding Remus of the very precarious dilemma he's in.

Dumbledore looks bewildered for only a moment before schooling his face into something far more neutral. Dumbledore really has no idea that he nearly kidnapped Harry Potter only three weeks earlier. 

They stare at each other in silence for one, long, torturous moment and then Harry’s sniffles grow into cries. Remus is torn between maintaining this strange staring contest their having and rushing to Harry. 

“Pardon me Mr. Lupin, but I must ask, have you acquired a baby?” Dumbledore asks, eyebrows raised.

“Yes, I suppose you could say that sir,” Remus squeaks.

Harry’s cries grow louder and Remus knows he has only moments before Harry either toddles out of the room on his own or he moves from crying to screaming bloody murder. Remus doesn’t have the time to contemplate the range of confusion and surprise that washes over Dumbledore’s expression. He turns around briskly and heads straight into the line of fire.

“I’m coming,” Remus yells as gently as he can muster. Harry’s cries come a little softer and stop completely once he pushes open the door. The adjustment to living in Wales with Remus has gone rather smoothly for Harry as Remus can tell. Even so, there are things that have been more difficult than others and Harry isn't keen to have Remus out of his sight for longer than a minute or two. Remus can hardly blame him after being subjected to the Dursleys for the last five months of life.

There are tears leaking down his cheeks but when he cries “Moony!” with a smile on his face. He reaches for Remus and he obliges, pulling Harry off the bed and settling him on his hip. Gently, he begins to sway his legs and pat his back in the way James and Lily taught them all in the weeks after Harry was first born.

“I’m here, it’s okay,” he whispers when Harry whimpers one final time.

“Moony,” Harry says once more, quieter this time. Harry’s vocabulary since he came home with Remus have been concerningly sparse. He isn’t exactly sure how many words a 21-month-old should be able to say but he is quite sure his vocabulary should extend beyond ‘Moony’ and ‘doggie’ but those are the only two words he’s been able to coax out of Harry. He was planning to take Harry to the local library that morning so that he might get a chance to play with children his own age and Remus could peruse the child development books but seeing as the Headmaster of Hogwarts is currently sat at their rickety dinner table, it doesn’t look like a trip to the library is bound to happen anytime soon.

With Harry calmed down, Remus realizes he has no other choice. “Well Harry, I don’t think we’ll be able to keep this a secret for much longer. Let’s go meet the headmaster.”

He holds his head as high as he can muster as he walks back into the kitchen, Harry in tow. Dumbledore looks up from his tea as they enter and Remus doesn’t miss the momentarily startled expression that crosses his face. Remus scoops another bowl of oatmeal and sprinkles the last few sugared raisins on top before taking his place back at the table. He takes a slow sip of his tea, wishing it was anything stronger, as Harry begins to greedily scoop spoonfuls of oatmeal into his mouth from his spot on Remus’ lap.

“I suppose I cannot say I’m surprised,” Dumbledore says after several moments of silence.

“Oh?” Remus says from behind his cup of tea.

“And I’m afraid I now owe Minerva a great deal of money. Never place a bet with her, Mr. Lupin, you will not win.”

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” he says, setting his cup down at last. This has absolutely got to be the strangest conversation he’s ever had with his former headmaster.

“Speaking of Minerva, she was actually the one who recommended I come here today.”

Remus nods though he isn’t sure what he’s supposed to do with that information. McGonagall recommended _Dumbledore_ \- come to his dilapidated shack in _Wales_ \- to talk to _him_ \- about _Sirius Black_? Suddenly he wonders if this is actually just another nightmare. 

“She has been pushing me to look further into the Potters’ deaths for these past five months and I must say she’s worn me down. She implored me to seek your opinion on the matter.”

Remus is momentarily speechless. He wonders bitterly what more could there possibly be to discuss regarding the Potter’s deaths? And in front of Harry no less. It is simple; Sirius betrayed them. He betrayed all of them: pushed Remus away in the last months of the war, defected to the Death Eaters, and directly caused the deaths of Lily, James, and Peter.

“So Remus, I must ask, do you truly believe Sirius Black was capable of betraying James and Lily Potter?”

Remus looks down at the crown of Harry’s head as his parents’ names are spoken for the first time but Harry makes no sign of understanding the content of the conversation occurring around him.

Remus’ knuckles go white around the handle of his cup as he answers, “I thought Sirius was sentenced already, with all the other Death Eaters. _Months ago_. Why bother with this now?”

Dumbledore leans back in his chair, folding his arms together gracefully over his chest as he takes a moment before replying.

“As your head of house, Minerva watched the four of you- yourself, James, Sirius, and Peter- grow up during your most formative years. She is well aware of the brotherhood James and Sirius shared and the nature of your relationship with Sirius Black. She was there as the four of you matured from dumb and plucky children to young men ready to put your lives on the line for what is right. And frankly, she does not believe it to be in Sirius Black’s nature to betray those he considers his family. After listening to her case repeatedly over these past months, I am inclined to think she may have a point and that brings me to you, Mr. Lupin. Do you believe Sirius Black is capable of betraying those he considers his family?”

Remus wants to scream at Dumbledore for coming here and asking him such a question unannounced. Before he took Harry, Remus had hardly begun working through the grief and pain Sirius Black caused him but then he had Harry and Remus pushed all that drama and sorrow as far down as his body would allow him to focus on the task at hand. And now Dumbledore waltzes into his kitchen at barely eight in the morning on a Wednesday and throws it all back in his face. Life has been playing a cruel game with Remus Lupin since he was four-years-old and he’s done playing now.

“Yes,” he says in a voice so small he isn’t sure Dumbledore will be able to hear. “Yes, he betrayed us all.”

“Well then, I do suppose that answers my question, doesn’t it,” Dumbledore says. “Thank you Mr. Lupin. Shall we move onto the other matter at hand then?”

Remus wants to tell him no; tell him no, thank you, they really need to be getting to the library now. But instead, he nods his head weakly and waits for the inevitable.

“If Harry is staying with you for the foreseeable future, I suppose you’ll be needing some help with things here and there,”

Harry looks up at the sound of his name just as Remus looks up in shock.

“You are more than welcome to return to Hogwarts for the moons. I’m sure Minerva or Poppy will be more than happy to watch Harry for an evening or two while you are afflicted. And perhaps I can get you in touch with a few other wizarding families with boys his age. I prefer that we keep this little situation under-wraps for as long as possible but there are a couple of families from the Order whom I think we can trust. That is, of course, if you believe it to be a good idea.”

Remus is more than a little stunned when he blurts out, “you mean I can keep him?”

Dumbledore cocks his head to the side and gives him a look Remus is quite sure is amusement.

“I assume you won’t allow me to take the boy back to his Aunt and Uncle’s, will you?” he asks.

Remus shakes his head.

“Yes, I thought so. And as it happens, I have a feeling Petunia Dursley won’t take the boy back even if we were to get on our hands and knees and beg.”

If Remus wasn’t so worked up over the twists and turns this conversation continued to take, then he probably would have burst out laughing at the image of Albus Dumbledore, on his knees in front of Petunia Dursley.

“Well then, Mr. Lupin, I suppose I only have one more question. Do you believe yourself capable of raising Harry Potter?”

Remus answers a resounding yes without hesitation. He’s just as young and inexperienced in this world as James and Lily were when Harry was born. And although it’s just him alone to raise Harry, he knows he’ll do the best-damned job he can.

“It’s what Lily and James wanted,” Remus says. “I’m sure of it.”

“Very well then. I expect you’ll be needing some funds if you are to be raising a child. I will have some of Harry’s inheritance sent over once a month to help with the basics.”

Remus opens his mouth to object, he doesn’t want to take money that is rightfully Harry’s, but Dumbledore beats him to it.

“I was here when you opened your cupboards, Remus. And if they’re any indication to how well you are faring financially, then you are going to need a bit of help now and then.”

Remus nods and his cheeks heat up with shame; he knows Dumbledore is right. A silence falls over the kitchen then, interrupted only by Harry flipping his now empty bowl off the table and onto the floor.

“Moony?” he says, pointing one thin finger at Dumbledore

“My apologies Harry,” says Remus. “This is Professor Dumbledore. I promise you’ve met him though I’m sure you don’t remember.”

Harry nods his head solemnly.

“That’s right. Nice to see you again, Harry,” Dumbledore says with a smile.

“Moony?” he asks turning slightly in Remus’ lap to face him. His nose eyes and nose are scrunched up as if to say, _what the heck is he doing here,_ and it takes all of Remus' self-control not to laugh.

“He’s come by for tea and to ask after you,” he answers instead.

“You seem to know what you're doing,” Dumbledore says after watching their exchange with wide eyes and a smile.

“Thank you, sir.”

Harry turns back toward Dumbledore before giving Remus a good whack on the chest and exclaiming loudly, “Moony!”

“What’s that now, Harry?” Dumbledore asks, leaning forward just slightly.

Harry determinately wraps his little hands around Remus’ neck and yells ‘Moony’, once more, this time right in Remus’ ear.

When Harry doesn’t elaborate further, Dumbledore’s gaze shifts from him to Remus.

“Please pardon the language Professor, but I believe he’s just told you to ‘piss off."


	3. A Vision Softly Creeping

It’s three nights until the moon and Remus Lupin is stuck in another dream. He pinches himself once- twice- three times but he’s still in the same vague foggy nightmare. Distantly, he remembers a muggle movie he watched with his mum as a child- something about a clicking your heels together three times and wishing for home. He shuts his eyes and brings his heels together but when he opens them again, it’s to Lily and James Potter staring at him with frankly amused expressions across their faces. Definitely not home. Inwardly, Remus groans, wondering what he did to earn Lily’s ire this time. Yes, Harry still only managed two words and Remus might sneak him more cookies than is generally acceptable before dinner but surely Lily wouldn’t take the time to haunt his dreams over some cookies.

“It won’t work if you don’t say ‘there’s no place like home’ with each click,’ Dream-Lily says.

“Damn,” says Remus, “Guess I won’t be making it to Kansas tonight after all.”

James fixes them a confused look while Lily throws her head back with laughter and Remus’ heart aches to see them both like this. How is he meant to grieve if his friends keep waltzing into his dreams like the past six months haven’t happened?

His attention is called away from his own inner turmoil as a rat comes skittering across their feet. James looks upon the rat with utter disgust while Lily repeatedly lifts her leg, trying to stamp her foot across the rat’s back. Remus doesn’t know how recognizable most rats are in the wild- if they have unique features like humans do- but this rat he would recognize anywhere.

It’s Wormtail running circles around the Potters’ ankles. It’s Wormtail James looks upon with absolute revulsion and who Lily keeps failing to squash. Remus momentarily forgets that this is all just a dream and Wormtail isn’t in any real danger when he yells, **_Lily,_ **just as she nearly clips the rat’s tail with the heel of her shoe.

He shuts his eyes again in another feeble attempt to _wake. up_ . but all he gets for his troubles this time is the addition of a massive black dog. The dog bounds over to James and Lily, both of whom pet it lovingly before the dog catches sight of the rat. Where Lily continuously failed, the dog does not. To Remus’ horror, it snatches Wormtail up in its teeth, gives him a good shake, and then tosses the rat aside. All the air feels like it’s been pulled out of his chest as he watches Padfoot mercilessly mangle Wormtail. Remus fought in the war, the same as the others and with the _unique_ missions Dumbledore sent him on in particular, he saw more than his fair share of gruesome brutality, but this, _this_ is something different entirely. Even the most savage, ghastly mission he saw in wartime, is nothing compared to watching one of his best friends be shredded alive by another. He knows with certainty now that this is no normal dream. Any regular nightmare would have him awake in a cold sweat the moment Padfoot bound into the picture.

He looks to James and Lily, desperation across his face and in the tension of every fiber of his body. Where he expects to find his friends similarly horrified, he couldn’t be more wrong.

Padfoot abandons the twitching remains of Wormtail when James calls for him and he trots over to the Potters whom immediately reward him by kneeling down and petting Padfoot’s belly, James with a huge grin plastered across his face.

Remus can do nothing but watch as the overwhelming urge to vomit slowly begins to subside. None of this makes any sense and perhaps Remus finally has lost his mind for what else can he make of the situation laid before him? Lily catches his eye and shoots him a pointed look- it’s the same look she gave him when, under the effects of firewhiskey late one night during sixth year, he miserably confessed that the crush he had on Sirius had perhaps grown into something a bit more and wasn’t that just the most tragic thing? It’s her signature:  _try again-think critically-there’s something you’re missing._ With that one look, he knows immediately what she’s trying to tell him. This time when he tries to wake up, it’s instantaneous.

He gropes around his dark bedroom, trying very hard to ignore the cold, uncomfortable stickiness of his sweat-soaked pajamas, in the search for his wand. With Harry still sleeping in Remus’ room with him, he stopped setting it on his bedside table at night out of fear Harry might find it and somehow manage to charm himself green as Peter managed once in second year.

A massive weight lifts off his shoulders when at last his fingers closed around this wand. With no owl of his own, and it still being the dead of night, there’s only one way to get an emergency message out.

“Expecto Patronum,” he mutters into the darkness. He’s surprised he’s able to conjure a Patronus so easily as a silvery-white wolf erupts from his wand and bounds around the room before settling at his feet.

“Find Albus Dumbledore,” Remus says urgently, “and tell him Sirius Black would never betray his family.” When he adds nothing else, the wolf turns on its haunches and bounds from the room.

 

It’s been nearly four years but from what Remus can see from his spot in the rather uncomfortable overstuffed chair, the headmaster’s office at Hogwarts has changed very little. If he concentrates hard enough, he thinks he might even be able to imagine it’s not McGonagall sitting in the chair beside him but Sirius; not Harry sat at his feet pushing a single toy train car back and forth, but James and Peter. And instead of waiting anxiously for Dumbledore to elaborate on what exactly he meant when he asked Remus whether or not he believed Sirius capable of betraying those he considered family, they’re awaiting the headmaster’s ruling over what sort of punishment they serve for their latest prank. The image is almost too easy to conjure. It leaves an uneasy feeling deep in his stomach that only serves to further exacerbate the absolute dread he felt since waking that morning.

They’ve sat in near silence for almost five minutes now and Remus isn’t sure how much more of it he can take.

“Pardon me, sir. But would you mind telling me what’s going on?”

He tries to keep his tone even and devoid of stress but he’s unsure of how successful he is. After Dumbledore departed the morning prior, Remus and Harry did manage to make it down to library, where despite there not being any children of Harry’s age for him to interact with as he hoped, he did manage to find a few books on child development and parenting that he perused while Harry built a tower of blocks. All of which mentioned that children have an uncanny ability to pick up on the distress of the adults around them and Remus has a feeling this meeting is going to be very stressing indeed.

“Mr. Lupin, I was going to ask you the same,” Dumbledore says after a pause. “After our conversation yesterday, I was under the impression you believed Sirius Black quite capable of abandoning his friends and family to become a Death Eater.”

Remus swallows thickly. He’s right. It wasn’t until his frankly terrifying dream he even considered that perhaps something wasn’t quite right. Perhaps Sirius didn’t betray them in the way everyone believed. And perhaps, he thought that all along and only squashed the idea down because how was he to be sure it wasn't some kind of rosy-tinted, loved-induced, bias? 

“I’ve had a change of heart,” he mumbles after a moment. 

Remus fervently hopes Dumbledore won’t question him further on what exactly brought about his change of heart. He isn’t sure if he has it in him to recount the story and even if he did manage it, even in the wizarding world, talking to those long dead in dreams isn’t seen as something someone sound of mind would do.

“Ah, I see. Well, Mr. Lupin, Minerva and I are inclined to think the same but that doesn’t explain the events that transpired on Halloween of last year. With you in agreement, however, I am sure we will be able to get to the bottom of this, as they say.”

“What I believe Albus is trying to ask,” McGonagall begins when Dumbledore doesn't elaborate further, “is there anything you wish to tell us?”

With both McGonagall and Dumbledore giving him their undivided attention, Remus is certain he’s never felt more like a little kid at school who's done something terribly wrong and is now hiding the evidence poorly behind his back. And oh, he has so many secrets, many they already know, but for those they don't, he isn’t even sure which to be more worried they’re alluding to. Certainly, neither Dumbledore nor McGonagall could know about the Potters appearing to him in not one but two dreams, both of which had directly influenced his actions. And both Dumbledore and McGonagall were long aware of his status as a werewolf and if he recalled correctly, Dumbledore even mentioned something about knowing the truth of his and Sirius’ relationship. That’s one he doesn’t want to mull over any longer than he has to.

That leaves only one secret; the truth behind the Marauders' nicknames: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs.

“Professor McGonagall,” he begins, shifting in his seat so that he’s directly facing his former head-of-house. “Do you recall the nicknames we used- James, Sirius, Peter, and I?”

She nods once.

“Do you know why they called me Moony?” He doesn’t give them a chance to answer. “Moony. Moon. Full moon. Werewolf. Call it what you want- clever or stupid- but once James came up with it, it stuck.”

“The three of them cobbled together the truth about my absences by the middle of our second year,” Remus pauses to inhale sharply. “But instead of reacting with horror or disgust as I expected, they handed me a piece of parchment with the plan they concocted the moment they realized the truth. It took them two more years to pull it off. But they did it. Just like they promised, they did it.”

He knows he looks wistful, thinking back on the day the three of them dragged him from where he was studying in the library back to their dorm room to show him that their two years of sneaking into the forbidden section and nicking potion ingredients from Slughorn’s storage closet had paid off. It was with this memory that he first produced the Patronus charm. 

“If they couldn’t be with me as themselves during the full moon each month on account of I’d rip them limb from limb or worse, then at least a rat, a dog, and a stag could. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs.”

“Remus, are you saying Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, and James Potter each managed to become an illegal animagus by their fourth year?” McGonagall says clutching her chest with one hand and gripping his wrist with the other.

“Yes,” he says hanging his head. There are tears on his face, he doesn't know when he started crying but that he's begun, he can't stop. “I don’t know how yet, but I’m certain that when we find the truth about what happened at Halloween, a rat or a dog will be at the center of it."


	4. Dance with the Devil

Guilt hangs over Remus from the moment he divulges the Marauders’ last great secret. Some sort of boyhood guilt, that’s only earned when a childhood promise created with best friends is severed. It settles in his gut and leaves him with the vague feeling that it’s he who betrayed his friends. But the remorse he suffers from his admission to McGonagall and Dumbledore is nothing to the shattering pain at the prospect of Sirius sent wrongfully to Azkaban. It’s entirely overwhelming and without Harry to tether him firmly to earth, he’s certain he would decay in despair and shame.

Harry long abandoned the toy train and sits now nestled into the crook of Remus’ elbow.

“Moony,” Harry says.

Remus shakes himself from his reverie and his gaze shifts to Harry.

“What’s that, Harry?” Remus asks.

“Oh Minerva,” says Dumbledore. “You must watch this, it’s quite impressive.”

“Moony,” Harry says again as he sinks further into the crook of Remus’ elbow.

“I guess the headmaster’s office isn’t all that exciting for Harry here. He’s just told me he’s quite bored,” Remus says.

“Well we can’t have that,” McGonagall begins. “Perhaps it’s time we take Mr. Potter to meet Poppy in the infirmary. It’ll be Poppy who watches over Harry  during the next moon.”

The infirmary is eerily quiet Remus finds and says so aloud earning him a chuckle from both Professor McGonagall and Poppy Pomfrey.

“Perhaps, Mr. Lupin, it’s quiet because there aren’t three rowdy boys trying to knock down my door, disrupting the peace, to check on you. It’s much quieter here without you in one of these beds.” Just as in Dumbledore’s office, it’s startlingly easy to imagine himself back here after a moon- Sirius, Peter, and James all dogpiled at the end of his bed. Peter would be asleep, James fighting to keep his eyes open, and Sirius would talk all their ears off until finally, Madam Pomfrey shooed them away so he could rest.

Remus grins and shrugs. “Well, peace and quiet are rather overrated.”

He can almost hear Sirius, James, and Peter’s snickers.

Madam Pomfrey clucks her tongue at him before turning her attention to Harry.

“Though I suppose my peace and quiet might be interrupted again very soon. Who is this, then?” she asks, bending down slightly to be closer to Harry’s height.

Remus gives Harry a little nudge forward.

“This is Harry Potter,” he says. “And Harry, this is Madam Pomfrey. She took care of me when I was a little boy at Hogwarts and now she’s going to help me take care of you sometimes.”

Harry clearly isn’t keen on the idea as he holds his arms out to Remus in the universal way children say ‘pick me up _now_ ’.

“Moony!” Harry shrieks.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Remus begins as he stoops to scoop him back up. “But sometimes I fall ill and when grown-ups are ill, they need help taking care of things.”

Harry contemplates this for a moment.

“Moony?”

“Just for one night, I promise I’ll be back then.”

How parents manage to ever leave their children, Remus doesn’t know, just the prospect of leaving Harry in the nurturing and safe care of the Hogwarts staff has Remus a little nervous and laden with guilt.

“Moony!” Harry yells, throwing his arms around Remus’ neck.

Remus pats Harry’s back and murmurs “ Yes, yes, I love you, too.”

McGonagall is watching him with a sort of sad but proud expression and Remus hopes very much that he’s earned the latter. Nothing thus far prepared him to become a child’s guardian and though he knows he ensures Harry’s safety, he’s never quite sure how well he’s doing with the rest of it.

“Well Mr. Potter, I could use some help checking on my patients. Would you do me the honor?” asks Madam Pomfrey.

To Remus’ surprise, Harry nods. Remus sets him back to the floor and he and Madame Pomfrey are off.

“I hoped you would go for him,” McGonagall says once Harry is gone from range.

Remus raises an eyebrow in response.

“I watched them all day, Vernon and Petunia Dursley, after Albus told me that’s where Harry would be taken and oh they were just awful, awful people. Albus insisted it was the best for him and with no immediate alternative, I relented. I knew you’d go for him when you could.”

Remus didn’t even know he was going to take Harry until it was practically done.

McGonagall eyes him over her spectacles and Remus wonders if she can hear what he's thinking.

“When the dust settled, I knew you would check in on him and if things were as I predicted, then you would leave with him too.”

“The morning I went to the Dursleys I woke from a nightmare- Lily Evans Potter screaming at me to make it right and fast. I fell out of bed and apparated to Surrey so haphazardly I’m lucky I didn’t splinch myself and bleed out on their front yard. Only Petunia was home but it didn’t take long to see what they thought of Harry,” Remus pauses. “I should have gone for him sooner. It shouldn’t have taken Lily Potter haunting my dreams to check in on him. I think I was naively hoping that Petunia would have gotten past whatever childhood grudge she held against Lily so that Harry could grow up with family as he deserves.”

“Mr. Lupin, not even blood could make you closer family to the Potters. Don’t forget that.”

It's far from what he expected her to say and Remus suddenly finds himself blinking rapidly, eyes stinging. He won’t cry here, not in front of Professor McGonagall, Harry, and the rest of the hospital wing. 

He’s glad when the doors to the infirmary burst open and a boy with a mop of bright red hair runs though, pulling attention away from himself.

Remus never considered himself a lucky man and with nearly to decades of substantial evidence going back nearly two pointing to the contrary, he’s inclined to believe most would agree with him. But luck is the only explanation he can fathom for what happens next.

The boy sprints through the doors with some small squirming thing in his hands and comes to a stop a few feet from where he and McGonagall stand It’s then that Remus is finally able to get a good look at what the boy is holding; it's a rat he's got clutched tightly between his hands. The rat quits its squirming and looks right at Remus and that's when time stops. His heart skips a beat and he freezes, watching the rat just as the rat watches him. And then time starts right back up again when the rat begins to flail in the boy’s hands, squirming around far faster than before.

“Madame Pomfrey!” the boy cries. “He’s hurt, we’ve got to help him!”

“Bill Weasley!” says Madam Pomfrey. “This is the hospital wing, we do not yell,” she says walking toward the commotion with Harry in tow.

“STOP!” yells Remus. “Keep Harry there.” In the entirety of his twenty-two years, Remus has never been as desperate as he is now, looking between the rat and Harry, now hidden halfway behind Madam Pomfrey. 

“Mr. Lupin!” McGonagall says but Remus isn’t listening. It must be a startling thing for McGonagall to see; Remus, her former student and house prefect, utterly mad over the appearance of a child with a rat. 

“Bill,” Remus holds himself painfully still, “why did you bring that rat to the hospital wing?”

The rat is violently squirming, it’s tail whipping back and forth and beady eyes going in all directions but Bill holds on steadfast. Remus will have to commend the kid later on his iron grip.

Remus has no recollection of pulling out his wand but now he has one hand reaching out in a placating gesture and with the other, he clutches his wand tightly.

Bill looks uneasily between the rat in his hands and the wand now pointed at it before answering.

“He was running through the Gryffindor common room when I found him. The girls were yelling about a rat so I chased him down and caught him! That’s when I saw he’s missing a toe. I thought maybe Madam Pomfrey could regrow it.”

The blood drains from Remus’ face and his wand hand wavers for a moment or two before his wits come back about him and he holds himself steady once more. If he wasn't sure before, he is now. 

"Mr. Lupin, I demand you provide us with an explanation for your fascination with this..." McGonagall's voice drifts off as her gaze shifts back from Remus to the rat in Bill Weasley's hands. She swallows. "With this rat." 

"Speak and the devil shall appear, as the muggles say," Remus says without looking away from Bill and the rat. "I think we've just found our devil."

Bill swallows and looks between him, McGonagall, and the rat.

“I need you to listen to me very carefully Bill," says Remus calmly. 

“Okay," Bill says when McGonagall gives him a nod.

“On the count of three, you are going drop the rat onto the closest empty bed. Drop him and then stand back as fast as you can, understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good- okay Bill, one- two- three.”

In one fluid moment, Remus casts the charm just as Bill drops the rat down onto the nearest hospital bed. There’s a bright flash of light and then, sitting where a rat was moments before, is none other than Peter Pettigrew.

Remus holds his wand stead in the whimpering face of Peter and within moments he’s joined by Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey doing the same. Beside him, poor Bill Weasley’s gone white as a sheet.

“Mr. Weasley!” says Professor McGonagall. “Find the headmaster and bring him here immediately.”

Bill nods once before charging out of the hospital wing.

Without lowering his wand, Remus gathers Harry from Madam Pomfrey and holds Harry tightly to him before finally speaking directly to Peter himself.

“Forgive me Peter but I was under the impression that you were very much dead." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like writing dialogue-heavy stuff bc I don't think it's one of my strengths and as such, I rarely write anything longer than a ficlet. Please forgive anything that sounds terribly awkward.


	5. Home is Where the Heart is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've updated this chapter significantly since it was first uploaded. The plotline is entirely the same but it was rather stark and quick. It's been filled out much more.

“If _I am to understand your story correctly, Mr. Lupin, you are suggesting the Wizengamot open a case of suspected Death Eater association on Peter Pettigrew and open the now completed case of the mass murderer Sirius Black?”_ _  
_

_“Yes.”_

_“And we are meant to take the word of a registered werewolf as enough pretense to do so? I’m afraid that’s hardly evidence.”_

_“Pardon me, minister," Dumbledore begins, "but it does not take an exceptional memory to recall how such logic-less biases create great problems for society in divisive times. Many would call it rather unwise to perpetuate stereotypes in times of peace.”_

_“Just because Peter Pettigrew has been found alive does not mean he was a member of You-Know-Who’s army, nor does it mean that Sirius Black is any less of a mass murderer who broke the oath of a fidelius charm and sold the location of James and Lily Potter to You-Know-Who!”_

_“Very well Minister,” Dumbledore says. “If that is what you choose to believe, then who are we to argue? But before we conclude this meeting, are you confident enough in your decision to allow a potential death eater to walk free?”_

 

A week from Remus’ frightfully lucky encounter with Wormtail in the Hogwarts’ hospital wing, Peter Pettigrew went on trial.

 

_“We are here before the Wizengamot today to determine if the defendant, Peter Pettigrew, was a willing and cognizant follower of You-Know-Who and, should it be determined that Peter Pettigrew is a death eater, to determine whether or not it was Peter Pettigrew who sold the location of James and Lily Potter to You-Know-Who. In this trial, we will also be deciding the outcome of the lesser charge on Peter Pettigrew, that of being an illegal, unregistered animagus. The trial will commence now.”_

 

Remus sat in on the trial. It hurt in ways he didn't anticipate to be there but he arrived each morning and took his place in the front row nonetheless.

 

_“Mr. Pettigrew, do you deny the charges against you?”_

_Remus doesn't listen to his answer; he just watches the way Peter sinks deeper and deeper into the defendant's chair with each question the various members of the Wizengamot bring before him and Remus can't tell if it's all an act anymore. At school, Peter was always frightfully easy to read. He wore his heart on his sleeve whether he was angry, hurt, or annoyed. Now Remus has to wonder how much he got wrong all those years, how much James and Sirius got wrong too. At some point, Peter grew up. He wasn't the same feeble boy following behind James and Sirius anymore and somehow all three of them completely missed his transformation. And beyond that, not a single one of them ever suspected that it was Peter feeding information about the Order to You-Know-Who. Peter grew up. Peter changed. And his three best friends were none the wiser. What part did Remus, Sirius, and James play in this? Was it really just fear that drove Peter to the death eaters? Was he truly just going to where the power was? Or did Peter's friends fail him in some way they'll never know or understand? Did Remus, Sirius, and James drive Peter into the welcoming arms of You-Know-Who as his loyal new spy?_

 

The days were long. The wore on him greater than his grief after James, Lily, and Peter were announced to be dead. Greater even than when he realized it would have to be him to arrange the Potter’s funeral, with no family for either of them left to speak of and the rest of the wizarding world out celebrating the downfall of Voldemort only made possible through their deaths.

 

_With each day that the trial drags on, it becomes a greater and greater relief to come home to Harry. Harry who is as excited to see him at the end of each day as he was when Remus first found him in Little Whinging._

_"Moony," Harry says when the finally stumble back into their living room via the floo network._

_"I agree, Harry. Tea and pudding are absolutely in order."_

_During the day, Harry stays with a lovely family Remus met through Dumbledore and McGonagall’s recommendation. They’ve seven children of their own, four quite close to Harry’s own age and the oldest two off at Hogwarts already. To his embarrassment, it takes him two whole days before realizing that Molly and Arthur's oldest son is the very same boy who came running into the hospital wing with Wormtail in tow. Remus makes a mental note to personally thank the boy for inadvertently bringing a massive injustice to light the moment he returns for the summer holidays._

_At night, Remus lays awake, cycling between listening to the gentle rise and fall of Harry's chest and going over every interaction he can remember having with Peter in the last three years. When he can't find a reason for Peter's betrayal or a single sign pointing to it, he expands his research parameters back even further to fourth year. After that, his memory gets more than a little fuzzy and he can't imagine Peter harboring a grudge this monumental for more than nine years. But no matter how many nights he lies awake, he never once finds a reason for Peter to abandon them so suddenly and disturbingly. Still, though, he can't help but feel that the three of them missed something crucial and the monster on trial now grew from this vital forgotten piece. Some monsters are born but most are made._

 

The extra-judicial period for the use of veritaserum ended weeks before Peter’s trial was set to begin, a setback that kept Remus up at night more than once, but several signatures later and the Wizengamot cleared its use in criminal trial one more time.

 

_Peter’s hand shakes slightly as he lifts the glass dosed with veritaserum to his lips. His foot taps quickly at the base of the chair and if Remus wasn’t already sold on Peter’s guilt in this whole mess, he is now. The cracks in Peter's facade grow wider with each passing day and as each day comes to a close, it's easier and easier to read Peter like the open book he was as a boy. Peter was a master at hiding from them in the war but he’s shit at hiding his fear now._

_It takes the veritaserum only a minute to become effective and the Wizengamot wastes no time. The questions were approved ahead of time and Peter folds in three moves._

_“Were you a spy for You-Know-Who?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Were you James and Lily Potter’s secret keeper?”_

_“Yes.”_

_With each question, Remus grips the railing in front of him tighter and tighter until his knuckles go white. He thinks he might be sick._

_“Did you willingly give You-Know-Who James and Lily Potter’s location?”_

_“Yes.”_

_Remus sits on his hands to keep himself from jumping the partition and finishing what Sirius set out to do on Halloween night._

 

With the fault of the Potter’s murders clearly on Peter’s hands and no other death eater confessions putting Sirius in line with You-Know-Who’s followers, the ministry has no choice but to order the immediate release of Sirius Black. That’s how Remus finds himself on a dock in the middle of nowhere, charmed to keep muggles away, shivering despite the three jumpers he managed to layer underneath his coat. The sun is only beginning to rise, not yet high enough to dispel the thick fog that settles over the sea that lies between the dock and Azkaban. A single wooden boat knocks relentlessly against the wood of the dock, the other faded into the fog nearly an hour earlier, charmed to take Professor McGonagall and a representative from the Ministry for Magic across the sea to the prison. Werewolves are forbidden on the premises. 

Remus loses track of the time searching for any glimpse of a little wooden boat out in the foggy sea and he doesn't look away until his eyes begin to ache. As the chill coming off the sea settles into his bones, he casts a warming charm but it does little to stop his shivering. Remus is beginning to think he's found himself in some kind of unending purgatory when the fog finally begins to lift and a little dot appears on the horizon. With the passing of a few minutes, the dot grows into the boat finally on its return trip across the sea. 

His heart is beating painfully fast as he spots the third body sitting aside Professor McGonagall. McGonagall's mouth is set in a hard line, a look that as a boy Remus knew meant to abort the mission and to get of there _fast._  But her eyes are far gentler than Remus can ever recall. Remus is suddenly grateful he wasn't there to see what Sirius suffered in Azkaban firsthand.

Something akin to butterflies erupts in his stomach and he isn't sure if it's the anxiety getting to him or elation when the boat drifts up next to him. Sirius is slouched forward, eyes cast down even as the boat comes to a stop and Remus is viscerally reminded of where Sirius spent the last several months of his life. The representative from the Ministry exists the boat first. He nods briefly in Remus' direction before scurrying off in the direction they arrived hours earlier. Remus is struck with the desire to flip the man some choice hand gestures but he refrains himself as Sirius finally begins to move.

Sirius' eyes don't move from the floor as he slowly makes the climb up the ladder from the boat. Sirius and James were always the touchy-motherly types in their ragtag group; both always quick to comfort or preemptively reach out a helping hand. Remus thinks he understands now why they constantly insisted they help Remus in his moments of weakness before and after the moons because although he knows Sirius is more than capable of getting up a three-rung ladder on his own, he wants nothing more than manhandle him up to the dock and not let go. 

He settles for something in the middle, reaching for Sirius the moment he's standing and had a moment to right himself.

Sirius' eyes are still downcast and he flinches at the contact.

"Sorry," Remus says pulling away but Sirius grabs two fistfuls of his coat keeping him there. 

Sirius is looking up for the first time since he's arrived and he's staring down Remus with an intensity so incredibly familiar yet equally distant; like he's positively grateful for Remus's presence but not entirely certain it's actually Remus he's holding inches away from him. Like he's not certain this is actually happening.

"Sirius."

Sirius draws him closer and Remus goes without a second thought. Before the war tore them apart, Sirius and Remus were together in every sense of the word. It was that way since James locked the two of them in their dormitory alone midway through sixth year with * _you two are the biggest idiots I have the pleasure of knowing but until you get your heads out of your arses and figure yourselves out, **you will not** be leaving this room!*_ as a farewell.

“Remus?” His voice is a bit hoarse but all Remus can hear is the astounded wonder Sirius packs into one word.

Remus nods his head and steps even closer still. Sirius' hands are still fisted in his coat and Remus carefully pries them off and instead holds them each tightly in his own.

"I'm here." 

In one swift, sudden movement, Sirius drops Remus' hands and throws his arms around Remus, drawing them together until they're chest to chest. Remus is a head taller than Sirius and right now he couldn't be more grateful for it as he follows Sirius' lead and swallows his frail body into an all-encompassing hug. Sirius shudders once and it's then that Remus realizes that he's out in the near freezing weather without more than a tee-shirt on. Without a second thought, Remus tugs off the coat and then one of the jumpers before haphazardly layering them over Sirius's frightfully skinny shoulders and torso. 

With Sirius properly bundled up, Remus slowly leads Sirius down the pier toward land. McGonagall is watching them from where the dock meets land; the sour expression she wore before is replaced by something much softer, reminding Remus of the fond guise she wore after Gryffindor won a quidditch match or the house cup. Remus is quite sure he should feel the tiniest bit of embarrassment when her gaze on them doesn't waver at all but for once he can't care any less.

“Remus?" Sirius says again when they've reached land and Remus can't help but grin a little. He doesn't doubt there is a long road ahead but with Sirius' hands held carefully in his own, the world feels a little more solid, a little more right. 

"Yes, Sirius?" 

"Where are we going?" 

“Home." 

"Home?" 

Remus grips the hand he holds in his a little tighter.

He nods. "Home. To my cottage in Wales. To Harry. With us where you belong." 

Sirius stills beside him and Remus is briefly worried he's messed this up somehow before Sirius' entire being seems to light up.

"Please Remus, let's go. Take me home." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the last! I think the boys deserve a bright epilogue.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and sticking around until the end!


	6. Call it a Draw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go folks...

“Are you sure about this?” 

For the last hour, Sirius has been rapidly alternating between twisting his hands together repeatedly in his lap or twirling a lock of hair between two fingers. It's a little jarring to hear the obvious lack of confidence hanging off of Sirius' every word. Remus knows that the charisma and confidence Sirius was known for at school is far more of a facade than most of their peers ever realized but he never would have imagined seeing his godson again would cultivate such a lack of confidence. Remus really isn't one to talk though. He's spent the same time shuffling about the cottage tidying what doesn’t need tidying: rearranging the same five books on his shelf three times in a row, moving the couch cushions an inch to the left an then back again. Perhaps Sirius isn’t the only nervous one.

“Absolutely positive,” Remus says, giving up on the tidying and coming round the sofa to face Sirius. They've had some form of this conversation for the past day and Remus is running out of ways to answer him that aren't repeats of his earlier platitudes.  

Sirius twists his hands together where they hover a few inches above his lap and it’s so unlike anything Remus has ever associated with him that it nearly makes him grin. 

“How can you be so sure it’s a good idea?” Sirius says without looking at him.

“Why in Merlin’s name would this be a bad idea?”

To his knowledge, Harry doesn’t have any idea why Sirius hasn’t been around, no more than he knew why Remus was absent from his life for nearly five months. While Petunia and Vernon never knew of Remus’ involvement in Harry’s life prior to Lily and James’ deaths therefore not having any reason to bring him up, he’s certain that even if they had known of Sirius, he wouldn’t have been a subject of conversation in their household. Even more, he doubts Petunia or Vernon even knew what became of Harry’s godfather in the wake of Halloween 1981. Remus has done the math, there is no way Harry has knowledge of the crime Sirius was wrongfully imprisoned for or what the extended circumstances were behind his parents’ deaths. It gives them hope for what they are going to do today but also fills him with a bit of dread for the day they are going to have to explain to Harry just how they died. But then, he's also rather glad it will be he and Sirius who tell him. He shudders to imagine how that conversation would have gone with Vernon and Petunia Dursley.

In the few quiet moments Remus had to himself over the past few days, he's gone over every way this day could possibly play out. Since they learned Sirius is a free man, it's been nearly all he could think about. In every scenario he conjured, there’s absolutely no reason for Harry to react adversely leaving only one thing that could have Sirius worried; Harry forgetting Sirius entirely in his six-month absence. And if that idea wasn't completely laughable to Remus, then maybe he would be worried. If Harry didn't forget Remus, then there is absolutely no way Harry could have forgotten his beloved Godfather. 

Sirius swallows. “What if he doesn’t remember me? He was just a baby when I saw him last."

Ah, so it is that then. Though Remus is confident Sirius doesn’t need to be concerned, he can’t exactly argue that it's not a reasonable fear.

“Harry knew me the moment he saw me and I was all the way down the street. It must have been at least five months since I’d seen him last but he didn't hesitate for a second. Despite what it’s felt like for us, it hasn’t been an eternity since last Halloween. It’s been only six months since he’s seen you last. He won’t have forgotten you yet.” 

“Six months is nearly a quarter of his life!”

Remus takes Sirius’ still fidgeting hands into his own and squeezes gently. “Harry’s a bright kid. He’ll remember you just as he remembered me and for anything he doesn’t, he’ll have the joy of learning about his godfather all over again.”

Sirius takes a deep breath and nods once but it's clear to Remus that the anxiety is still there even if subdued slightly.

Remus glances at his watch. They’ve still nearly a quarter of an hour before Harry’s due back with Arthur.

Sirius runs a hand idly through his hair.

"What was it like, when you saw him again? I know you took him from the Dursleys- thank Merlin for that- but what happened? How did it go?" 

"I wouldn't call it the best day of my life but it's certainly close," he begins. "I don't know that I've told you that I didn't plan on going to Little Whinging that day. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I didn't plan on going to Little Whinging ever."

Sirius tilts his head to the side and Remus continues onward. Dumbledore and McGonagall don't think any less of him after telling them about his odd dreams that sent him to Little Whinging and then later on a rat hunt, at least nothing that they've said to his face, so there's not really any reason to worry that Sirius might think him crazy. He's still not sure what he thinks of the dreams himself. Were Lily and James visiting him from beyond or was his subconscious trying to kick his conscious mind in the arse and get done what desperately needed doing.

"I had a rather frightening dream of Lily shouting that it was 'time I fixed this mess or she would be back,' among other choice words."

Sirius blinks once and then laughs.

"Head girl still managing to yell at us from beyond the grave?"  

"I wouldn't expect any less. She never said exactly what I so spectacularly mucked up but, from the moment I woke up, I knew what she wanted me to do. Naturally, I fell out of bed, pulled on some trousers, and apparated to Little Whinging so haphazardly I think I'm lucky I didn't splinch myself  and bleed out right there on Petunia and Vernon's front lawn."

"Merlin, I can picture it now, the absolute fit Petunia would have upon finding a wizard bleeding out on her perfectly manicured lawn."

Remus grimaces. "Can you imagine if I made it through becoming a werewolf before the age of seven and then later one of the worst wars in wizarding history only to be murdered by Petunia for bleeding on her daisies?" 

"You'd die a second time when Lily found you in the afterlife," Sirius says, laughing.

"Well, thankfully that's not what happened. Instead, I think I must have paced up and down Privet Drive for a solid hour before Harry toddled outside." 

Sirius inhales sharply and Remus feels as though he's giving a play by play after returning from a mission during the war or some other life or death ordeal. Maybe it was.

"I think my heart nearly stopped when he spotted me loitering down the road."

Sirius is fully engrossed in his tale; his hands have finally given up the fidgeting and he hasn't run his fingers through his hair once since Remus began his story.

"Did that hag of a sister make it difficult for you to see him?"

Remus laughs. "I'm sure she would have given me hell if she had the opportunity but Harry took off long before Petunia even knew who I was. She thought Harry was running toward a vagrant until I introduced myself. I was stunned to see him sprinting at me full speed, screaming Moony! Moony! Moony! at the top of his little lungs and I completely froze right there." 

"Of course you did." 

"I'd like to see you do any better," Remus says jabbing him in the ribs. "I picked him up and I don't think I put him down for a solid two days."

"Petunia let you just march off right then? Moony! Did you _kidnap_ Harry Potter?"

Remus' gaze drops to the floor and his face heats up. "I perhaps, might have, maybe, possibly suggested that if Petunia didn't let me in to see how Harry was faring then something unfortunate could potentially befall her perfect suburban life."

"And to think McGonagall thought _you_ were the good one," Sirius says throwing his arms up in the arm. "Moony you manipulative bastard!" he yells but there is no malice, only pride, in his voice.

"Let's just say I was less than impressed by what I found at 4 Privet Drive and Harry's been with me ever since." He'd rather not tell Sirius where Harry was sleeping at his aunt and uncle's house today. Maybe one day, when they're all a little more- stable. 

“Tell me about him,” Sirius says in a rush. “Please.”

Remus smiles and settles into the spot next to Sirius on the sofa. That he can do. There is an endless supply of stories to tell and Harry's only been living with him for just shy of two months: Harry’s favorite foods, the games he likes and those he doesn’t, how he isn’t even a student but somehow he’s managed to charm half of the Hogwarts staff already, the massive temper tantrum he threw last week that had Remus wanting to run for cover.

“Every single day is different,” Remus begins. “One morning we’re coloring ferociously, the next, we absolutely detest coloring- can’t stand it! He’ll be affronted I even offered him the crayons.”

Sirius blinks, then grins and nearly barks a laugh.

“Harry wants to be helping all the time. Unfortunately, more often than not, that means cleaning things up that don’t need cleaning. It took me a solid week to find where he put his shoes once he decided that they didn’t belong next to the door any longer.”

Sirius snickers. “And where were they?”

“Tucked neatly inside the dress shoes you forced upon me for James and Lily’s wedding! How he found them when they were shoved so far back in the closet, I’ll never know. Let alone what he concocted up in his little mind that convinced him that his shoes were meant to be inside a pair of mine. I had to transfigure him a pair in the meantime!”

“That’s possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever heard and by far the most adorable.”

“Ah yes, then there’s that. He’s the picture of innocence! He could light the house on fire and I’d be inclined to pat him on the back and tell him job well done. Everyone he meets is charmed immediately by his big eyes and smile. He doesn't say much yet, mostly just _Moony_ and the occasional _no_ or _bye-bye_ but still, he wins everyone over in minutes." Remus doesn't bother hiding the pride in his tone.

Sirius’ laughter emanates from his chest and it warms Remus to see him so freely relaxed.

“He’s already following in our footsteps! Who would have-” Sirius says before being interrupted by a loud pop.

Across the room, Arthur Weasley stands hand-in-hand with Harry.

“Morning Remus!” Arthur says just as cheery as always. 

Remus nods vaguely in Arthur’s direction, distracted by the intensity by which Sirius is looking at Harry.

To his credit, Harry is staring at Sirius just the same. 

“Harry,” Sirius says reverently.

As if Sirius uttering his name was a sign of permission, Harry immediately wriggles free of Arthur’s hand and launches himself across the room. It's pure happiness that fills up Remus' chest right then.

“PADFOOT!” The distance between where Harry stood with Arthur and the sofa is much less than Privet Drive, so much so that Sirius doesn't quite have adequate time to prepare before Harry is launching himself on top of him. He lands square in Sirius’ lap, undoubtedly knocking the wind right out of him but if he cares, he doesn’t show it. Sirius' face is an equal mix of elation and disbelief as Harry buries his head into the space between Sirius’ neck and shoulder and doesn’t let go. It's the same feeling of pure joy that bubbles up in Remus' stomach watching Harry collide with Sirius that he felt seeing Harry again for the first time that morning in Little Whinging. 

“Padfoot,” Harry says once more; this time sounding pleasantly content.

“Hello Harry,” Sirius says holding on equally tight. “Oh, how I’ve missed you.”

Several moments pass in silence when all Remus can manage is to grin stupidly at the scene in front of him. How different his life has turned out these last few weeks still has him feeling as though he needs to pinch himself to ensure it's all real. It’s startling to recall the pure dread and grief that defined his life a mere six months earlier in contrast to the joy blooming in his gut at this very moment. 

“Well boys looks like you’ve got this under control. I’ll leave you to it,” Arthur says.

Remus smiles weakly in his direction. Normally, Remus would feel furiously embarrassed for letting Arthur loiter awkwardly without so much as a greeting but he doubts Arthur will hold it against him under the circumstances.

“Thank you for keeping him at yours last night. We’ll be sure to have you all over when we’re settled.”

“We’ll look forward to it,” Arthur says, smiling warmly. “We’re only a floo away if you need anything.” 

Arthur and Molly Weasley are saints as far as Remus is concerned. The help they've been through Peter's trial and the aftermath is priceless though Remus plans to pay them back in any way he can for as long as it takes. 

There’s another loud pop and then it’s just the three of them, still all packed onto the sofa. It’s painfully domestic, more so when Remus considers that they’re both barely in their twenties, but he’s positively certain that nothing could make him happier than he feels right now.

“Moony!” Harry yells, sitting up for the first time since tackling Sirius. “It’s Padfoot!”

“Indeed, Harry! Aren’t we lucky?” Remus says ruffling his hair with one hand. 

Harry nods and wraps his arms around Sirius’ neck and squishing his own face to Sirius’.

"Not weak, this one," Sirius mutters.

“Moony.” Harry relinquishes one of his chubby fists from Sirius’ neck and reaches briefly for Remus.

Remus knows how to take a hint and closes the few inches of space between himself and Sirius. He throws his arms around the _SirusandHarry_ lump and tucks his face close to Harry and Sirius’ own. Harry pats him on the top of the head once-twice-three times letting Remus know his choice of action was indeed the correct answer.

“I think I’m the lucky one here,” Sirius says although it comes out kind of garbled with Harry still pressed to his face.

“I guess we’ll have to call it a draw."

 

**Epilogue**

 

The first thing he’s aware of post moon is an awful racket coming from the direction of the kitchen. Something tells him he really ought to drag himself out of bed and investigate but his limbs still feel quite a bit like lead and that zaps all the motivation from him. It’s wonderful having Padfoot back with him for the moons. They can’t run free through the forbidden forest like they did as children but it’s still far better than locking himself in whatever dark cellar or abandoned building he can find like he did so many times throughout the year before. Now, he wakes only with the aches and pains anyone would feel if their body was torn apart and then knit back together within the span of twelve hours.

Their bedroom door squeaks open and the end of the bed dips with the weight of something crawling up the middle. The weight settles next to him and Remus gets a distinct impression that he’s being watched. He cracks an eye to find Harry peering down at him unblinkingly. Perhaps if he didn’t wake up several nights a week to a small child staring at him unmoving and in the dark then it would be startling to see Harry there looking like something out of a muggle horror film.

“Hello Harry,” he mumbles, closing his eyes again.

“Moony sleepy?”

“Mmmm,” Remus grumbles.

"Moony sick?"

"Mmmm."

“Padfoot?” he asks.

“No, ‘m fine. Promise."

Harry shifts and lies down beside him. Remus gingerly lifts the arm closest to him and pulls Harry close. He doesn't have any idea what time of day it is if it's an appropriate time for Harry to take a nap but he finds he doesn't much care.

The racket emanating from the kitchen stops suddenly and he gets several moments of blessed silence before the bedroom door squeaks open again.

“Harry!” Sirius mock whispers in what Remus assumes is meant to be quiet. “Moony needs his rest. We need to let him alone a little while longer.”

Harry gently pats Remus on the chest and tries to shake his head from where it’s wedged between Remus’ arm and side. 

“Moony.”

“Right, if we want Moony to feel better then we need to let him rest up and lie in. I promise he’ll be better in no time.”

Another shake of the head. “Moony.”

“We’ll just be in the other room. We’ll be right here if needs anything, promise.”

“Ah, just give it up Padfoot and come lay down with us already,” he says, eyes still firmly closed.

Another few moments of silence pass before there’s another dip in the bed and Sirius wriggles under the blankets. Sirius tucks the blankets that came loose in the process back carefully around Remus before reaching under Harry to hold him with one arm and laying the other over Harry and across Remus. 

“Okay there Moony?” he asks softly. 

“Never better, Padfoot." And he means it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking around to the end! This is the longest thing I've ever written. When I took creative writing classes I was known for my ability to write flash fiction (under 1000 words) but I really struggled with anything longer than 3k or so. I've gotten a little better at more standard short story lengths but it's still a struggle so I really appreciate anyone who has seen this story through to the end. Thanks so much for reading!! <3<3<3


End file.
